As my biggest critic I overthink my overthinking. I’ll never stop analyzing myself and what I do because I’ll always want to
improve and be a better person overall. There are times when I feel useless and underachieved, or un-chosen and passed-on, and the head-trash that builds up in my mind sends me in a tizzy. Can’t sleep well, can’t work well, can’t live well, all because my mind continues to churn on unknown thoughts of ‘what if’ and ‘who knows’. And I’m constantly reminding myself that I indeed get more worried and nervous about stuff than I probably should because I overthink too much. I know it’s not healthy, and I know I’m not the only one out there with these internal self-doubts and insecurities, so thats why I decided to write about it and share a dab of how music gave me some thoughtful strength to clear out some head-trash.
Music Clears the Head-Trash: Most of my head-trash is about work, directly targeting what I do to provided for my family and feel accomplished in my career path. As someone who never graduated from any type of school, I’m used to questioning my knowledge, abilities and acumen, and rarely afraid to refine or change for self-betterment. I have techniques and things to distract me from the head-trash, like writing articles, prepping for future tasks, or tinkering on personal projects, because I know it’s all just me being inside my own head, and these distractions are how I try to control that. But sometimes these distractions aren’t sustainable, and my mind goes right back to the head-trash. And that’s when it happens, unexpectedly some touching music appears out-of-the-blue and changes my attitude.
Music seems to save the day more than I can imagine, and when it does, it’s almost always in some form of inspiration. Today, my mind was still churning the head-trash of ‘what-ifs’ and ‘who knows’, and as I was distracting myself, I came across a new video of a rap legend doing what he does best. Without warning and unprovoked, it stopped my ‘tizzy’ moment, and instantly made me reflect on myself, and then inspired me to focus on goodness. Some would say it was an ‘ah-ha’ moment, but for me, there were several thoughts that rushed into my mind, cleared out some of the trash, and made way for clarity. Not only were the actual lyrics speaking to me, but seeing this career rapper doing what he has done for decades, the best way he knows how to, and hasn’t changed much of how he’s doing it while staying relevant, seeing this in action cleared out so much head-trash and injected some positive influences in my mind and soul almost instantly. The subtle similarities and thought provoking reminders pushed the clutter away, and a renewed confidence began to shed light down the corridors that were moments ago covered in head-trash. Music did that.
Being exposed to this rapper doing his thing made me realize that I too need to keep doing my thing, the strong way I know how, while staying relevant and as consistent as I’ve been over the years. It hasn’t failed me yet, and since I was taught by some of the best, I know my work and methods are tried-and-true. The song’s lyrics were also uplifting, and reinforced some of the solution-based thoughts I’ve had to extract the head-trash, all while reminding me that I DO know and have what it takes to shake-off the head-trash funk. It’s not everyday that we can recognize these types of internal battles or forms of relief. This feeling of having some head-trash cleared away because of music was enough for me to really want to share with the world. Music helps, inspires, motivates, heals, and so many other awesome things, and I wrote this article as a reminder of that. So if you find yourself lost in piles of head-trash, try music for some relief. And know that you are not only your biggest critic, but you should also be your biggest fan. Sharing is caring and self-help shows strength.
BTW, head-trash is a term introduced to me years ago by my brother, and it refers to the clutter and mess we create in our own heads that jams the ability to think straight.
As for the music, it was rapper Big Boi’s (from the legendary Outkast) verse on ‘Sucka Free’, a new rap with Killer Mike: https://youtu.be/hxsmYP8Dmxk
Dec 21, 2021